By Jerry Green, Recovery Services Manager
My thoughts are, at times, crazy. Crazy thoughts, without rhyme or reason. Sometimes they are literally horrible thoughts, mean thoughts, selfish thoughts. Today, I understand that. Today I know that is my disease, ever-present, ever-lurking, ever-dangerous. The difference between now and before? Today I don’t have to act on these thoughts. I know that there is another Power in me. Greater than my brain, my disease, my ego.
Today I can take my actions based on the principles because of this Power.
I have been taught that while my feelings are real, they are not always based in reality. There is a huge difference. Reality is that God is everything. Reality is that my feelings and emotions change often. When my actions are tied to these thoughts, my behavior and conduct are like leaves blowing in a hundred different directions. But when my actions and behavior are linked to never changing principles, i.e., Love, Tolerance, Peace, Humility, Courtesy, Honesty, and Integrity, I become like a rock, not swayed by ever-changing emotions.
How does this change come about?
By staying connected to this Power within me. How do I do that? I take specific daily actions: surrender, prayer, meditation, hitting some meetings, and helping others. Sometimes this involves doing things I don’t want to do and doing things that are uncomfortable. Yet when I do them, my mind seems to follow along. If I wait till I feel like doing something, I may never do it. I can pray about it, talk to my sponsor, or come up with a million excuses not to do what I know I should do. The only solution I have found to make myself feel like doing something I don’t want to is to go ahead and do it anyway. And then I end up feeling pretty good about it. I know that sounds insane, but it has absolutely worked in my life!
What is consistent is my God.
What has to stay consistent are my actions. Outcomes – Not my business. My spiritual condition – Not my business. The maintenance of my spiritual condition – Now, that is my business. That makes me fit to be of maximum service to God and the people around me.
As time goes on, I find that my thinking has started to change.
For me, that is what faith has looked like; A slow realization that when I act by the principles, things work out. I was the last person on earth who should have ever found faith. I totally thought it was all made up. Today I am absolutely convinced that God is in my heart and lives in a way that is indeed miraculous. I stumble and get back up. I don’t do this perfectly, but for me, persistence is what is important.
Origins Recovery Center is a well-known care provider offering a range of treatment programs targeting the recovery from substance use, mental health issues, and beyond. Our primary mission is to provide a clear path to a life of healing and restoration. We offer renowned clinical care for addiction and have the compassion and professional expertise to guide you toward lasting sobriety.
For information on our programs, call us today: 561-841-1019.