By Newell Bentley | Director of Alumni for South Padre Island
When I first found myself in treatment and accepted that I would have to do things differently, I thought I was going to lose my home and my way of life forever. Yes, my life was in ruins, and from the outside, it looked even worse. But I still had things that I loved and didn’t want to lose.
The new life that I was learning about sounded great.
I could see myself doing it, but I still longed for my old life (minus alcohol or drugs) in my heart.
I have a loving family and many childhood traditions. My first holiday season of Thanksgiving and Christmas was hard. I kept telling myself all the things I would be missing out on and how everyone would be judging me. I wondered if I even wanted to put myself through all that.
Thank God I did the thing I did not feel like doing and talked about this with someone in the program.
We discussed all the stuff going on in my head (Tenth Step). It always amazes me when I find myself when I don’t feel like I am the only one. I realize that other people have been through the same feelings and situations. I learn that I can stop the massive snowball that has started in my head from continuing downhill and becoming present again in my life.
I have found a new home in the program and a different way of life, but my family and traditions are still the same and will not change for me.
I learned what needed to be changed was in me and my mindset.
The promises that came true during that first holiday season are things that I still treasure. They let me gain more trust and faith in God and in the program itself. I became the family member that I had always wanted to be.
All I had to do was follow a simple path that did not have me at the front of it. Magically, it turned into something I have loved since childhood. For the first time, I saw my family see a different side of me.
My new home is inside of me.
No matter how far away I go from family or my physical home address, I can still feel OK. Although it’s for reasons I might not understand completely, I have finally stopped feeling lost or missing out. I have become free and continue to grow.
And it keeps getting better.
Origins Recovery Center is a well-known care provider offering a range of treatment programs targeting the recovery from substance use, mental health issues, and beyond. Our primary mission is to provide a clear path to a life of healing and restoration. We offer renowned clinical care for addiction and have the compassion and professional expertise to guide you toward lasting sobriety. For information on our programs, call us today: 561-841-1019.